Category: Movies

The Trailer Park: Hardcore Henry

Welcome to The Trailer Park, wherein I discuss the merits and pitfalls of film trailers that I’ve seen recently. I’m hoping for this to become a regular feature of the blog, so enjoy!

First up: Hardcore Henry.

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This Just In From “Shut Up And Take My Money” News

mighty need

I have recently learned that there is an Etsy store called GameGuardians. Why is this important, you ask? There are tons of Etsy stores, some more successful than others.

Well, my friends, what makes this Etsy store unique is what it currently being sold in the store. You see, the proprietor of the store is selling handmade plushies of Falkor the luck dragon, from The Neverending Story:

falkor

That is what it looks like. I honestly thought it was a still from the movie until I took a closer look at it. Major props to the artist at GameGuardians who created it.

The artist, Laura Hosler, has apparently received about 1500 request from people wanting their own luck dragon; however, she can only put out about 15 per month, so the waiting list for one would be extremely long. However, for the more crafty among us, she will also be putting the pattern on the storefront for anyone who would like to make one of their own.

It’s worth checking out the rest of her store as well. She has some other dragon patterns up for sale that are both really cool and absolutely adorable.

Idris Elba May Be Playing Lead in Dark Tower Movie

dark tower

Apparently British actor Idris Elba is the frontrunner to play Roland Deschain, the lead character from Stephen King’s The Dark Tower novels, in the upcoming film adaptation.

First off, I had actually completely forgotten that there was an adaptation of the books coming, which, shame on me as they are some of my favorite novels in existence. Second, I think Idris Elba is a fine choice. He is a very good actor, and about the only reason the incessant Rainbow SIx: Seige ads on YouTube have yet to break my will. Seriously, the man could read from a phone book and I wouldn’t get bored.

OF course, nothing is set in stone at this point, and it could very well not happen. Either way, though, I will still be looking forward to the movie and am excited to see what they do with it.

There’s Something Seriously Wrong With This Poster

So, I was browsing through Tumblr (as I do) when the Black Widow poster for the upcoming film Captain America: The Winter Soldier popped up on my dash. For the few people who have yet to see it, it looks like this:

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So, I was looking at it, and it looks a little off. And then it hit me: she looks broken. And I don’t mean psychologically or emotionally broken; I mean it fucking looks like someone physically broke her.

I mean, look at this clusterfuck. Her arms look like they’re ten feet long. Is Scarlett Johansson secretly a Stretch Armstrong doll? Also, where did her internal organs go? Her waist’s been photoshopped to be as wide as her jaw, for Christ’s sake!

And what is up with her pose? It looks extremely awkward, and not dynamic at all. She looks like an action figure. A poorly proportioned action figure.

I mean, is this supposed to be sexy? Because it’s really not. It’s just awkward and wrong.