I just realized that it’s been a while since I’ve talked about a Norse myth, so let’s go ahead and do that now. Today, I’m going to be talking about how Thor got his uber-badass hammer, Mjölnir.
So, this story starts, like many old Norse story, with Loki deciding he’d like to fuck with Thor’s wife, Sif, because he is the god of causing problems on purpose. What he decides to do in this scenario is to cut off all of Sif’s hair.
Now, Sif’s pride was her absolutely gorgeous, golden hair, so she’s understandably pretty upset by this. And if Sif’s unhappy, Thor’s unhappy. And when Thor’s unhappy, things have a tendency to die. So to keep the god of thunder from twisting his head off, Loki offers to head to Svartalfheim in an attempt to make it right.
The reason he’s going to Svartalfheim is because it’s home to the dwarves, who are master craftsment. So he gets there, and asks the sons of a dude named Ivaldi to make some new hair for Sif. They do, and decide to make a couple of other gifts for the Aesir while they’re at it: a ludicriously deadly spear called Gungnir, and a folbable boat alled Skidbladnir.
Loki doesn’t just leave with these items, however. Nope, he decides that he’s not quite done making trouble yet, so he goes to these two dwarven brothers named Brokkr and Sindri, and telling him that he bet they can’t make anything finer than the items just created by Ivaldi’a sons. He then proceeds to wager his head. Which they accept.
This is when Loki realizes that he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake. But he does have a plan, however.
Loki turns himself into a fly and, while the brothers are making the first item, he bites Brokkr on the hand. Brokkr, however, doesn’t let this distract him from his work and he keeps working the bellows. Then out comes Gullinbustri, a glow-in-the-dark boar that can outrun any horse in existence..
Becuase that didn’t work, Loki decides to up his game a little bite while they’re working on the second item, this time biting Brokkr hard on the neck. Again, this doesn’t really work and the two brothers come up with Draupnir, a ring that makes eight other, equally-sized rings every nine nights.
And here we have the main event: while they’re working on the third item, Loki bites Brokkr on the eyelid hard enough to draw blood. This actually gets the dwarf to take his hand off the bellows for a moment, to wipe the blood from his eyes. And from this endeavor comes Mjölnir, a hammer that never misses its target when thrown, and returns to its owner’s hand like a boomerang. There is one small flaw with it, however: because Brokkr took his hand off the bellows, the handle is a bit shorter than Sidri would’ve liked.
With all that done, Loki returns to Asgard, with Brokkr and Sidri in tow. Once there, he presents the Aesir with the dwarves’s gifts: Odin gets Draupnir and Gungnir, Freyer gets Skidbladnir and Gullinbustri, and Thor, of course, gets Sif’s new hair and Mjölnir.
Everyone then decides that, even though Mjölnir was slightly flawed, that Loki owes the dwarves a head. They’re about to take it, too, when he points out that while he promised them his head, he never promised his neck. The two concede this point, but still decide to sew Loki’s mouth shut before heading back home.
And that, friends, is the tale of how Mjölnir came to be. To be honest, though, I’m actually a bit more interested in Sif’s hair. Was it like a wig? Hair plugs, maybe? I suppose they could be like exensions, depending on how much hair Loki’s prank left her.
Ok, I’ll stop now.