Star Trek Recaps: TOS, “Miri”

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Well, this episode vindicated my decision to never have children.

We begin as we usually do, with the Enterprise making its stately way through space. On the bridge, we see Kirk looking at something on the viewscreen, with Rand standing behind him. He says that they’re receiving an Earth-style SOS signal,  and someone offscreen says there’s no reply. Spock says that it’s coming from a ground source, not from another ship, from the system’s third planet. Kirk notes that this is odd, since they don’t have any other ships or colonies that far out. And I just realized that this is almost exactly how “The Cage” started.

The viewscreen zooms in on the planet, and Spock starts taking measurements as McCoy enters. Spock gives his readings, and the crew come to realize something: the planet that they’re heading for looks exactly like Earth.

This, by the way, is never explained.

After the opening credits (and other shot of the Enterprise entering the planet’s orbit), we get a captain’s log explaining that they’ve found an exact duplicate of planet Earth in the deepest reaches of space. And this is the last time this fact is ever mentioned.

Kirk tells Spock to hold the ship in a fixed orbit around the planet, and asks if there has been any response to their communications. A crewman (more specifically Farrell) reports that there has not. I’m wondering why he’s at Uhura’s station instead of the helm. Maybe Uhura just has time off or something. Anyway, Kirk orders a landing party, and says that they’ll beam down near the signal’s origin.

We then cut to the planet, where McCoy, Spock, Rand, and Kirk have beamed down with two unnamed redshirts. The scene that they beam down into looks very much like an abandoned city,  with a bunch of rusted-out cars and tires strewn about.


The landing party splits up,  and Kirk says that it looks like the early 1900s. Spock corrects him and says that it looks like the 1960s. Rand asks where all the people are, and Spock responds that whatever happened to the planet had occurred several centuries before. Rand asks if that means everyone on the planet is dead; Spock says that’s not necessarily the case, though the signal appeared to be automated. McCoy remarks that it’s “the most horrible conglomeration of antique architecture I’ve ever seen.” We then cut to one of the redshirts walking around the ruins,  past a door that seems to close by itself.

We then cut back to the rest of the team. wandering about the ruins. They come across a dilapidated tricycle, which Kirk picks up and hands to Spock, who hands it off to McCoy as they continue on. McCoy sets it down and starts spinning one of the wheels when he hears a man offscreen shout “Mine!”

The others turn towards the disturbance as a man who looks about as dilapidated as the tricycle jumps out and tackles McCoy.


The rest of the team runs over, Kirk and Spock getting there first and pulling the man off of McCoy as he continues to shout “Mine!” over and over. They have a bit of a tussle, and Kirk knocks him to the ground with a couple of punches. They walk over to the man, who’s now sobbing that someone had broken his tricycle. He starts begging for one of them to fix it. Kirk kind of awkwardly pats him on the shoulder, and McCoy reassures him that someone will fix the tricycle.

Spock points out that whoever this is is “definitely humanoid, in spite of the distortion,” and Kirk adds that he has the mind of a child. The man of whom they speak starts seizing, and reaching towards the trike. Kirk tells him that they want to help him, he calls Kirk a liar and starts repeating “never” in a truly unsettling fashion, and then dies.

McCoy scans the corpse, and states that its metabolic rate is extremely high, and that it almost seems like this guy aged a century in the past few minutes. They then hear footsteps from somewhere nearby, and decide to vacate the area.

They stop at a couple of buildings, eventually coming across a house. They open the door, with Kirk, Spock, and the redshirts drawing their phasers. They walk into what looks like a living room, and one of the redshirts heads upstairs. They come across a piano, that Spock remarks must be at least three hundred years old. There’s a thump from another room, and Kirk and Spock go to investigate. Kirk tells whoever it is to come out and they won’t hurt them.


Kirk opens the door, and finds a girl inside, crying. She begs them not to hurt her, saying that she didn’t do anything as Kirk approaches. Kirk says that they just want to talk to her, and pulls her gently towards a chair Kirk walks towards Spock and tells him to take the redshirts and look around for any other signs of life. Spock heads out to do so, while McCoy wonders what happened to make her so scared of them.

The scene shifts to Spock and the redshirts, outside. Spock points to something in the distance, and the redshirts head off in that direction as Spock starts scanning. Spock then sees someone clear some dirt off of a window, and goes to investigate.

Back in the house, the girl is telling her stories. She says that she remembers “the things you Grups did, burning, yelling, hurting people.” Kirk says that they didn’t do anything like that, and the girl asks again of they’re going to hurt her. Kirk responds that they’re there to help.  The girl responds that “grups don’t help,” but Rand says that they will. Kirk asks what happened, and where everybody is. The girl tells him that they know. Kirk says that they don’t, and asks her to tell them.

Just crowd around and stare at the traumatized child. I’m sure that’s very helpful.

The girl says, “You got a foolie, is that it?” saying that she can’t play until she knows the rules. McCoy asks her what a foolie is; the girl clarifies that she thinks they’re trying to play some kind of game with her. Kirk then asks her what a grup is, and she says that’s what they are. Rand figures out that she means “grownups.”

Kirk goes back to what she said about the “grups,” and she says that they started doing all these things because they got sick. The children hid, and eventually all the adults on the planet died. McCoy says that there must have been a plague, which explains the emptiness of the planet. Kirk asks if the illness affected the children, and the girl responds, “Of course not, we’re here aren’t we?” He asks her how many children there are, and she evades the question by saying “all there are.” Kirk asks Rand and McCoy  to leave, and asks her for her name. She says that it’s Miri, and he smiles and tells her it’s a “pretty name for a pretty girl.” And this came off as extremely creepy to me.

I think it’s supposed to be reassuring, but this is Kirk we’re talking about.

We cut back to Spock and the redshirts (which I’m totally calling my band), still patrolling. They duck into a nearby alley, as the camera pans up the fire escape. Spock hears a banging noise, and turns to the source before calling the redshirts. Spock tells the guards to cover him as he climbs the fire escape. We hear children’s taunting offscreen, and Spock jumps off the ladder as the three of them go to investigate. Rocks start falling from the roof, and the three move closer to the wall to avoid getting hit. We then hear more taunting, which gets really annoying really quickly.

Back in the house, McCoy and Rand have reentered. Spock comes back into the room, and reports that they found a whole lotta kids, but the wouldn’t let him get close. Kirk tells Spock what Miri had told them about the adults dying. McCoy points out that the person who attacked him earlier was clearly not a child, and that he must have had whatever wiped out the adults. Spock does the eyebrow thing, and Kirk says that there has to be some kind of records on the planet that explain what happened.

Kirk asks Miri if she knows where any of the hospital buildings are She says she does, but adds that it’s a “bad place” when Kirk asks her to take them there. Kirk tells her it’s important, and asks her again, smiling at her. She agrees, and asks him his name. He tells her it’s Jim, and she responds that she likes it. He tells her he likes her name too, as well as her. Miri says that Kirk is nice, unlike the other grups.  Kirk thanks her and tilts her head (Jim, stop it) before noticing a blister-like mark on his hand. Miri notices it too, and is alarmed. Basically, Kirk has the plague, and will eventually go nuts and die. So, fun times all around!

It looks less like he has a horrible disease, and more like he burned his hand on something.

There’s a captain’s log where Kirk explains that everyone but Spock is now ill. This is over scenes of Spock and Kirk looking through some papers, with Miri, McCoy, and Rand around a microscope. Kirk explains that there’s also a lab in the building, and that McCoy’s taken tissue samples to try and figure out what’s causing the illness in question.

McCoy looks through a sample through the microscope, calling what he’s seeing “a veritible zoo of bacteria.” He has the ship beam down a biocomputer and electron microscope so he can get a better idea of what he’s dealing with. Farrell gives the affirmative, and tells the captain that there are volunteers ready to beam down to the planet to help. Seeing this as the absolutely terrible idea that it is, Kirk tells him that he’s not to beam anyone else down because of the horrible, fatal diseas. Farrell protests this, but Kirk says that the best way to help at this point it to get McCoy the equipment he asked for.

Kirk asks McCoy why Spock hasn’t shown any symptoms. McCoy doesn’t know, but not willing to let a chance to take a jab at Spock go by, says that “probably the little bugs or whatever they are have no appetite for green blood.” Spock retorts, “Being a red-blooded human obviously has its disadvantages,” and mentions how ancient the microscope McCoy’s been using is. McCoy responds that it’s enough that the microscope works.

McCoy turns back to work before noticing that the blotch on his hand has gotten bigger. Miri takes his hand and tells him that it spreads fast, and that “when you’re old, it covers you like anything,” before leaving the room.

McCoy looks at his had again, as Kirk starts reading from some of the information that he found. He mentions something about a life prolongation experiment, and Spock finds a progress report on that experiment. Rand says, “That’s what it was,” and McCoy dryly comments that they didn’t have much luck on that front.


There’s another captain’s log, this one explaining that the items McCoy had asked for were beamed down, and will be used with the ship’s data banks. McCoy talks with someone on the ship about the properties of the bacteria/virus/whatever. As this is going on, Spock and Kirk talk about what they’ve found. Spock says that the records they have are 300 years old. Kirk says that all the adults have died, and only children are left. Spock points out the obvious: children eventually become adults. Kirk says, “At least, they have up to now.”

This turns some wheels in Spock’s head, who goes over to McCoy and asks him if there are any glandular changes that occur when children enter puberty. McCoy says that of course there are, and Spock should already know this. Spock goes on, saying that it’s likely that any children on the planet get the disease when they hit puberty.  McCoy muses on this a bit and says that could be. Spock follows up by saying this is illogical, since all this happened over 300 years ago. McCoy asks how they “keep the line going,” and Rand asks why Miri wants to stay with them. Kirk muses that children have an “instinctive need” for adults, but Spock and McCoy have another idea: she has a crush on Kirk. Spock says that “she’s becoming a woman,” indicating that she’s growing up and is in danger. And I wish he didn’t put it like that, because this shit’s no less creepy coming from Spock.


We then get a scene of Farrell and Spock discussing the situation. Farrell tells him that he has the figures he requested, and starts giving those figures as Spock enters them into a computer. Afterwards, Spock cuts the connection before pulling a yellow chip from the console. He lets the others know that he has the calculations, and Kirk tells the redshirts to take another look outside as he moves towards the lab. On the way, he hands Miri a rag and asks her to clean up the desk. She smiles and says, “All right, Jim,” before beginning the task.

Spock explains what the planet’s previous occupants were trying to accomplish: they were trying to make it so people would only age 1 month every 100 years. Basically every kid on this planet is actually at least 300 years old. Rand muses a bit about what eternal childhood would be like, saying it’s like a dream.

Kirk tells her to “not examine that dream too closely” since “it might not turn out to be very pretty.” McCoy says that the guy who had attacked him earlier had most likely just hit puberty, which is basically a death sentence on this planet.

We cut to Miri, cleaning the desk, and then back to Kirk and the rest. Rand asks if Miri knows, and Kirk says that he doesn’t think so. Rand says that if they’re as old as Spock thinks they are, they should have at least some idea, but Kirk says that they’re still mentally children as well. He tells Spock that they have to do something about the other children. Spock says that this will be difficult since the kids know the terrain better then they do, but Kirk has an idea. He calls to Miri, and asks if she wants to go someplace with him. She says sure, takes his hand, and the two leave. Rand looks at Spock quizzically, and starts saying something about “that little girl.” Spock interrupts with, “-is at least 300 years older than you, Yeoman.

We cut to a dilapidated shop, where two boys are looking out of a window. One of them is wearing an incredibly creepy mask.

See you in your nightmares!

One of them runs over to the rest of the kids, with one of the older ones apparently in some distress. The older one angrily states that “Miri is with them,” and asks why. The kid who was at the window earlier asks him (calling him Jahn) what he thinks she’s going to do. Jahn throws up his hands and says he doesn’t know. I would just like to point out that the actor playing Jahn is quite obviously not a child.

Seriously, though, this actor was 27 when this episode aired.

Jahn goes on saying that they know what they have to do, and that there are more adults there than they’ve seen. He says that the rest of them know what grups do. The other kid pipes up, saying that he remembers the way it was. Jahn says “that’s right,” and goes on saying that the landing party would be alone if they didn’t have their “little boxes”. The other kid in the conversation points out that they hide, and starts shouting “olly olly oxen free,” which is taken up by the rest of the children.

Jahn stops them, saying that this isn’t a game, and that the landing party are dangerous. At this point, mask kid yells out to him, and Jahn sees Kirk and Miri outside. Jahn tells the other kids to to hide as Kirk and Miri enter the building, to find it apparently empty. Just then, a girl with the blue crud all over her jumps out as the children run away screaming. The girl jumps on Kirk’s back, and I know the scene’s supposed to be all tense and dramatic, but it just looks very, very silly. Kirk manages to shake her off, and shoots her before she can attack again.

Piggyback ride!

He crouches to get a closer look at her, and says that she’s dead. He doesn’t understand why, as his phaser wasn’t set to kill. Miri says she knows who the dead girl was. She says her name was Louise, and that she was only a little older than she is. Obviously distrught, she hugs Kirk.

The scene fades to Miri in the lab, sharpening pencils as McCoy, Kirk, and Rand look on. Farrell calls down to Spock, saying that the information he’d given was fed into the computers and asking him to stand by. Miri asks Kirk if she has enough pencils; Kirk asks her to sharpen some more, and she happily goes back to her task. Kirk asks Spock if there’s any doubt about what he found in the materials he’s looking at. Spock says there isn’t, and that he can determine how much longer they have based on the data he’s found and the ship’s calculations. McCoy, ever the optimist, says that it’s only a matter of time before they go nuts and kill each other.

Kirk asks about Miri, and Spock says that their earlier guess about the disease was correct: they get it when they enter puberty, so she has about 5 or 6 weeks left. McCoy asks how much longer they have, and Spock responds that the disease moves more quickly based on the age of the infected. Kirk wonders why Spock isn’t showing any symptoms. Spock points out that even if he’s asymptomatic, he’s still a carrier and can’t go back to the ship. Not that he wants to, without the rest of the party. Kirk appreciates the loyalty, but points out that they still don’t know what they’re dealing with. McCoy says that they know what it does and how quickly it does it, before listing off the symptoms they’ll soon be experiencing. Way to be a downer, Bones.

He’s usually so cheerful, too.

Kirk asks Spock if he’s sure about how much time they have left; he is. Kirk starts to ask about another possibility, when Farrell calls down to confirm the previously mentioned calculations: they have a week left to live.

We then get a supplemental captain’s log stating that they’re on day two out of seven and haven’t found anything yet, but the Enterprise is standing by. We cut back to the lab, where Kirk is bemoaning their lack of data. McCoy says that he thinks he has something, and Kirk asks Rand to take Miri for a walk. Kirk and Spock huddle around McCoy, who says that only half of something is intact. Kirk asks him if he’s figured out what they were trying to do, and McCoy responds, “More or less. The idea was to create a new series of diseases, a chain reaction of viruses meant essentially to extend the life of the human cell immeasurably.” Spock points out that they clearly weren’t successful, and Kirk says that they’ll have to try and “recreate their thinking” in order to come up with a vaccine.

McCoy and Spock share a look, and McCoy dryly asks, “Is that all, Captain? We have five days, you know.” Kirk says that he does when they hear the children taunting them outside and go to investigate. Jahn crawls into the lab through a ventilation shaft, then goes through the room stealing the communicators. Which makes me wonder why Kirk, Spock, and McCoy didn’t take them with them when they left.

I mean, you’d think that Starfleet would have rules about that, but I guess not.

Back in the hallway, Kirk asks McCoy and Spock if they’ve found anything; they respond that they have not. We cut briefly back to the lab, with Jahn going back to the shaft where his compatriots are waiting. The sound of the grate over the shaft alerts McCoy, Spock, and Kirk that something is amiss, and they run back into the room. After a bit of searching, Spock relays the fact that the communicators are missing. McCoy testily says that they need to have them back, since they need to communicate with the ship in order to have any kind of chance. The scene then closes with Kirk giving a dramatic look.

Or constipated.

We get yet another log, this one playing over a rather sweaty Kirk pacing around the lab. Said log states that they currently have about 3 days left, and they’re running out of food. Also, their tempers are getting a bit short as their condition deteriorates.

Kirk goes over towards McCoy and testily asks him if he’s found anything yet. McCoy equally testily asks him if he wants to take a crack at it, throws down a stack of papers, and stalks off. Kirk goes over to Rand and Miri, giving Miri a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He brushes past Rand, who drops some glass. Upset, she starts screaming “no” at him and runs off. Kirk follows her, and Miri follows Kirk.

Kirk comes up to a crying Rand, who says that she’s “so upset” before pulling down the top of her uniform to show him a blotch on her chest. She tearfully talks about how she kept trying to get Kirk to look at her legs, but now her legs are all discolored and gross. Miri is watching this entire conversation.

Miri’s gonna have to cut a bitch.

Kirk gives Rand a hug, and we get a closeup on a rather upset-looking Miri, and the siren music from Kill Bill started playing in my head. Kirk tells Rand that they’re all frightened as Miri walks away, and McCoy calls to them saying that he’s found something.

They head back into the lab, and McCoy explains that he didn’t make the proper adjustments when he was looking at the last slide. He goes on to explain that the disease has been affecting his abilities; Kirk brusquely cuts him off and tells him to just tell them what he’s found. He doesn’t really explain what he found, but he says that they now have a chance. Kirk puts an arm around Rand as Miri looks past the doorway, looking rather unhappy before leaving. And I’m pretty sure I know where this is going.

We then cut to Jahn at the toy shop where the other kids are holed up and, yup, she’s just betrayed the landing party because she’s jealous of Rand. Jahn tells her that would be “some foolie,” and asks if she thinks the plan would work. Miri says that they have so little time to find a cure for themselves, and that kidnapping Rand would leave them one less person to deal with. Another kid asks her how they would pull this off. She explains that Rand has been asking after the youngest kids,  and that they would just have to tell her that one of them is hurt. One of the boys volunteers, and Miri agrees. Miri explains that they would lure away two of them, since Kirk would come looking for her. The kids then start chanting nonsense words in a circle around Jahn and Miri while pounding things against the floor, which is goddamn creepy.


The scene then shifts to McCoy and Spock, with Spock holding a vial of red liquid. McCoy mentions something about the nitrogen cycle and McCoy asks what the correct dosage of the stuff in the vial would be. Spock says that’s a good question, which mean he has no clue.

We then cut to Kirk with his hands on Miri’s shoulders, shaking her slightly and asking where Rand is. Miri responds with, “How should I know?” He then pinches the bridge of his nose and asks where she is again, dramatically asking if something’s happened to her as he grab’s Miri’s shoulders again.

Well, this is uncomfortable.

Miri asks if he feels all right, and Kirk, in full-blown Shatner mode, starts yelling that of course he doesn’t. Miri frantically says that she doesn’t want anything to happen to him as Kirk heads towards Spock and McCoy, saying that he needs to find Rand. Spock syas that they also need to find the communicators. Kirk petulantly says that they’re trying, and McCoy yells that it’s not good enough. Spock reiterates that they need to get the communicators back, and Kirk asks if what’s in the flask is the vaccine. McCoy says that’s what they need the computers to tell them, and Spock says, “Without them, it could be a beaker full of death.”

Kirk goes back to Miri, and tells her that they only have a few hours left, and Miri responds that she doesn’t care. Kirk says that she has to care about this, turning her around to face him. He then drops the truth on her: unless they can get in touch with the ship, everyone on the planet will die of the same illness.

Miri, who is in some pretty hardcore denial, says that it only happens sometimes, and Kirk tells her again that it’ll happen every time, before pulling her arm out and showing her a blotch on it. Miri starts screaming “no,” and Kirk pulls her into a hug as she cries.


Then the scene cuts back to the kids, this time in a classroom in front of a blackboard. One of them (the big-eared kid who volunteered earlier) is going “blah blah blah,” and Jahn tells him he’s got it wrong. He asks the kid what a teacher says, and big-eared kid responds, “Yeah. Study, study, study, or bonk bonk, bad kid.” The other children applaud this feat of acting, and Rand (who is naturally tied to a chair) says that it isn’t funny. Jahn tells her, “It’s a foolie,” to which a decidedly non-amused Rand asks her what they’re going to do to her. Jahn basically says he’s not telling her, when Miri walks into the room.

Jahn walks over to her, telling her that she’s not supposed to be there, and asks if something’s gone wrong. She says no, and Jahn tells her to not just stand there and come in. The door then opens further to reveal Kirk, who strides into the room, much to Rand’s relief. Miri tells them to listen to him, which prompts Jahn to say, “Now you listen Miri,” quite angrily. Miri says that she did listen, and that’s why Kirk’s there. Miri tells Kirk to tell the others, which causes Jahn to mockingly imitate her and the other kids to start chanting those words and I hate this so much.

Seriously, this guy just annoys me so fucking much.

Kirk heads to the front of the room, and yells at the kids to listen to him, Jahn responds with “no yelling in the classroom,” and calls him a bad citizen. Kirk tells them that this isn’t a game, and never was. One of the girls says to call the police, and the big-eared kid says he’s the police and Jahn says that he’s the teacher and the kid says he has two jobs and I can taste purple.

The children continue to be utterly obnoxious as Kirk tries to regain control of the situation. He tells them that they need to have their communicators back. The kids start going “blah blah blah,” and Kirk actually retorts with “No blah blah blah!” which I realize wasn’t actually supposed to be funny, but totally was. He goes on saying that if they don’t get them back everyone on the planet will die. Jahn nods to a dirty-faced kid, who nods to someone else. Rand calls out to Kirk to warn him a kid jumps forward and tries to hit him with a club. Kirk manages to fend him off, and tells them to let Rand go and return their communicators. The kids, of course, aren’t listening, and start doing the “nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” chanting again. They close in on Kirk and the whole thing is just super unsettling.

It’s very Village Of The Damned.

Kirk tells them that they’ve seen what’s happened to the ones who grew up, saying that Miri has the disease now. This prompts the big-eared kid to start hitting him with a wrench. This sets off the rest of the kids, who start beating the shit out of Kirk.

Kirk manages to shake them off, and approaches Jahn. He tells him that it’s only a matter of months before it happens to him, and I’m thinking it should have by now. Miri  says that Kirk’s telling the truth. Jahn responds by saying that Kirk apparently thinks he’s funny. Big-eared kid calls out to get Kirk again, and Kirk rips his sleeves and shows them his blotchy arms. He says that’s going to happen to all of them, unless they allow him to help them. Big-eared kid riles up the crowd again, as Kirk picks up a very young girl. He asks who’s going to take care of them after they’ve “turned into creatures like Louise,” which seems to quiet them down again. He says that they’ll all die, basically because they’re running out of food.

Because an episode can’t go by without Kirk’s shirt getting damaged.

Miri backs Kirk up by showing him her arm and saying that it’s happening to her too. Jahn brushes this off by turning away and saying that “they’re Gurps,” which causes the other children to start chanting again. Kirk puts down the little girl that he’d been holding before walking to the front of the room and says:

All right, you want a foolie? All right. I dare you, I double-dare you. Look at the blood on my face. Now look at your hands. Blood on your hands. Now who’s doing the hurting? Not the Grups, it’s you hurting, yelling, maybe killing, just like the Grups you remember and creatures you’re afraid of. You’re acting like them, and you’re going to be just like them unless you let me help you. I’m a Grup, and I want to help you. I’m begging you, let me help you or there won’t be anything left at all. Please.

The camera pans over the rather shame-faced children before the scene transitions to the lab. Spock puts a vial of the vaccine into a syringe. McCoy says that they can’t wait for Kirk to get the communicators back any longer. Spock says that they have to, since there’s a possibility that the vaccine is fatal. McCoy retorts that the disease is definitely fatal, and that they’re running out of time. He asks Spock how much longer he wants to wait before stalking off.

Spock responds that it’s pointless to bicker, and that he’ll go check on the captain before getting up to leave. We cut to McCoy looking pensive, then glancing at the vaccine on the table. He then picks it up and looks at it a moment before injecting it into his wrist, then immediately grimacing in pain and falling on a table. He calls out for Spock before collapsing to the floor.

Clearly this was the smart thing to do.

We cut to Spock, who hears this while speaking with one of the security personnel. The run into the room to find McCoy unconscious, and Spock hands the now empty syringe to the redshirt, with a rather annoyed look on his face. Spock checks him over and the redshirts asks if he’s dead. Spock says he isn’t yet.

We then see Kirk walking towards the lab with the children, communicator in his had, and he states that they only have about 3 hours left. He tells the ship to keep the channel open when he comes across the previous scene. He leans over McCoy and asks Spock what happened. Spock explains that he used the vaccine on himself, and that McCoy was unconscious when he came in. Kirk says to look at McCoy’s face; Spock turns his face to the side and notes that the blotches are starting to fade. That was awfully quick.

The kids come closer into the room, and Kirk gets up as Spock shakes his head, somewhat incredulous. He dryly says that he’ll “never understand the medical mind” as Kirk moves towards the kids. He smiles as he pats on little girl on the head and moves out of the room. Jahn, with that stupid smirk on his face, asks Miri if she thinks this is a good thing. Miri says that of course it is.

She looks so uncomfortable.

The scene fades to a shot of the Enterprise, then to the bridge, where McCoy and Rand are gathered around Kirk in the captain’s chair. Rand says that they’re just children, and expresses doubt of the wisdom of leaving them there with just a medical team. Kirk says that they’re children who are over 300 years old, and says that he’s already contacted Space Central, who’ll send teachers and other personnel. McCoy quips that they should send truant officers as well. Rand points out that Miri was genuinely in love with Kirk, and Kirk responds that he doesn’t get involved with older women. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. Anyway, he turns to Spock, and says to go ahead at warp factor one.

Now, despite what I said at the beginning of the post, I don’t really hate kids. But good god, the antagonists of this episode annoyed me. I also kept getting distracted by the fact that the actors playing Jahn and Miri clearly weren’t children (being 27 ad 19 respectively when the episode aired).

There was one thing about this episode that annoyed me the most, however, and that is one gigantic plot hole it leaves behind. Remember how at the beginning of the episode, they say that the planet looks exactly like Earth? This turns out to be completely irrelevant, since it’s never explained or even really brought up again.

So, yeah, not my favorite episode.

Next up is “Dagger Of The Mind.”

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