Month: May 2016

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Really, Internet? Can we just go one month, hell, one week without threatening someone with bodily harm?

In case you haven’t heard, apparently some people are upset that the upcoming game No Man’s Sky has been delayed. So, how did some people react to this news? By tweeting death threats to the game’s creator, Sean Murray, as well as to Kotaku writer Jason Schreier. The latter is especially baffling to me, since all Schreier did was report the delay (since it’s his job and all).



I really don’t understand this mentality. Video games (like a lot of other forms of media) get delayed all the time. And this delay (which is about seven weeks) isn’t even that long. I mean, I understand that it’s disappointing to those who have been looking forward to the game, but I just don’t get the anger. A developer feeling that they need some more time to work on the game, I think, should be considered a good thing. It means that they care enough about the game they’re making to make sure that it’s polished before releasing it to the public.

Sadly, this seems to be the new modus operandi for a certain segment of video game fans. A game you want is delayed? Death threats! A website gives a game a score lower/higher than you think it deserves? Death threats! Someone makes a web series critiquing games through a feminist lens? Death and rape threats!

Seriously, just don’t. Don’t do this. Not just because it makes gamers look bad, but simply because it’s an inherently shitty thing to do. If the news makes you that angry, then just step away from the computer, and do something else for a while.

I recommend knitting.

To My Utter Bemusement, They’re Making A Tetris Movie


So, there is a lie in the title. They’re not planning to make a Tetris movie.

They want to make three of them.

Since I’m aware that simply writing the word “why” over and over again does not a compelling blog post make, I shall actually try to use other words to describe my feelings on the matter.

Ok, I’m just going to ask “why” one more time. Why? Why do they want to make movies based on Tetris? More importantly, how are they going to make movies based on Tetris? It’s a puzzle game. The point is to stack blocks so they make lines across the bottom of the screen. Then the lines disappear. That’s it. That’s as close as the game comes to having a plot.

According to the link above, this is coming through a partnership between producer Larry Kasanoff (who worked on the so-bad-it’s-good Mortal Kombat movie) and a Chinese company called Seven Start Works. According to an article on, the movie is going to take place in China with a primarily Chinese cast. So it’s got that going for it, I guess.

Again, the game has no plot. There is literally no story here besides a bunch of falling blocks. I just don’t see this working.

Unless it looks like this:

That would be fucking amazing.

The Trailer Park-Batman: The Killing Joke

They did it. They finally got around to adapting Alan Moore and Brian Bolland’s Batman: The Killing Joke.

This particular entry into the Batman mythos is rather, shall we say, contentious. People generally either love it or hate it. I’m in the camp that loves the story, but I can see where people wouldn’t (particularly the way it treats Barbara Gordon, which is definitely an aspect of the story that I dislike). I am quite looking forward to this adaption, however.

See, I quite like Batman: The Animated Series. To me, that is really the quintessential Batman, outside of the comics. And it mostly comes down to the performers: Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are 100 percent amazing as Batman and the Joker, respectively.

Well, they’re reprising their roles in The Killing Joke, which I find extremely exciting.

The film is set to be rated R, which some people have thought to be a gimmick based on the success of Deadpool. But I think that it would be more or less impossible to do a non R-rated version of The Killing Joke. A lot of really dark shit happens in the comic, and trying to cut that down to fit a PG or PG-13 rating would change the story.

Of course, because its animated, I’m sure that some parents will end up buying this for their kids anyway, because we have this mentality that if something’s animated or it has to do with superheroes, it has to be for kids. To which I say, please don’t make the same mistake with this that a lot of parents made with Deadpool. The Killing Joke is not, and has never been, intended for a young audience.

The Killing Joke is set to make a premiere this summer at the San Diego Comic Con. There is going to be a digital release on July 23, with the film coming to Blue-Ray on August 2.